Online Wills & Holistic Legacy Preservation

Step-by-step plan for inclusion and collaboration

Step 1: Set the scene (preparation)

• Choose the right time and tone: A calm evening, no crisis looming, everyone informed. Explain: “I’d like us to work together on how I manage my estate, digital life and care wishes—so you’re not left guessing.”
• Share the agenda: Let your children know you’ll talk about three things: values/wishes, practical estate/digital plan, roles.
• Gather base-materials: Draft values statement, list of assets (physical + digital), care preferences (health directive, location preferences), and identify a digital vault platform (such as Evaheld Vault) where you’ll upload the materials.
• Read up together: The NIA’s advance-care-planning guide provides worksheets you can bring to the talk. National Institute on Aging+1

Step 2: Values & story sharing (family conversation)

• Start with stories: “Here’s what I hope for you,” “Here’s what I valued most,” “Here’s what I don’t want.”
• Use prompts such as:
• “What kind of memory do you want of me?”
• “If I couldn’t make decisions for myself, what would matter most to you I did?”
• Document together a short values statement (2-4 sentences) and upload to the vault in folder “Legacy - Values.”
• Encourage each adult child to write a one-sentence reflection of how they hope to hold your legacy—upload into a subfolder “Reflections – family.”
• Emphasise that this isn’t about guilt or obligation, but about continuity and communication.

Step 3: Asset + digital-life inventory (collaborative)

• Create shared spreadsheet or vault folder: physical assets (home, investments, business), digital assets (list all online accounts, social media, cloud storage, crypto, digital photos). AARP warns many skip this. AARP+1
• Adult children each take one category (e.g., digital assets, cloud photos, subscriptions) and map current status: owner, access method (password manager, email recovery), special instructions.
• Upload a summary doc: “Digital Asset Inventory v1 – YYYY-MM-DD” to the vault folder “Digital Estate Tools.”
• Decide how digital assets will be handled: preserved, deleted, transferred. Document in “Digital Inheritance Instructions.”
• Talk about the will, executor, and how the children view fairness; maybe share the draft will (or ask your lawyer for summary). Encourage transparency.

Step 4: Care preferences + advance-planning (shared)

• Review your healthcare wishes, care-location preferences, directives, proxy appointments. The NIA emphasises these must be discussed with loved ones. National Institute on Aging+1
• Invite children to understand your preferred healthcare proxy, who has access, where the documents live (in your digital vault).
• Upload scanned copies of your advance directives, POA (powers of attorney), treatment wishes into vault folder “Care Documents.”
• Identify a child who will keep a “back-up role” (read access) in the vault, especially in case you become incapacitated. Clarify the process for access.
• Reflect on how care preferences map to legacy: “If I’m cared for at home, what photos, messages or story I’d like to leave behind,” and upload your online memory vault—letters, audio/video messages you may want your children/grandchildren to receive at certain milestones.

Step 5: Role assignment and shared access structure

• In your vault, set up permissions:
• Parent (you): full edit
• Adult children: tiered access (e.g., Child A = editor of digital assets, Child B = read-only for care docs)
• Executor: designated access (read-only now, edit when triggered)
• Create an Emergency Access Card (physical wallet size) that lists: vault link/QR, primary contact (child), backup contact (another child), login hint.
• Define triggers: “If I am hospitalised for more than 48 hours” or “If I lose decision-making capacity,” then Child A becomes full editor on folder “Active Estate Plan.”
• Note permissions expiry or review: “Annual audit every birthday month; major update after significant life event (moving house, change in health).”
• Encourage a shared calendar or recurring family meeting for updates (digital inventory review, care-preference check, memory vault upload).

Step 6: Communication schedule & ongoing collaboration

• Set regular “Legacy Check-ins” (30 minutes every 6–12 months) where you review any changes: new digital accounts, new health status, updated wishes.
• Use your vault to track version history: every update file labelled with date and short description (“Changed primary beneficiary – 2025-04-15”).
• Each adult child reports one thing: “I held the passwords list and found 3 missing entries,” “I reviewed the care documents and found one update needed.” This keeps everyone connected.
• Encourage children to ask you, out-loud: “Would you like to add an audio message for your grandchildren next year?” This nurtures intergenerational connection and moves legacy beyond financial disposition.

Step 7: Finalising and preserving the plan

• When your will, digital asset inventory, and vault roles are in place, hold a final family meeting: share where everything lives, confirm access, review triggers, reaffirm values. Use the meeting template (see later).
• Export a paper-summary of your vault structure (folder map + who has access) and store it in a safe and your executor’s secure folder.
• Perform a digital backup of the vault export (encrypted) and store offline.

At the meeting, invite adult children to share what they feel about the plan: any emotions, any concerns, anything they’d like changed. This boosts buy-in.